Can't I Take a Shit in Peace?

Today is the first day of hunting season. There I was minding my own buisness, reading the latest copy of  "Suits on Ties off," and it happened. Three guys who we're, I'm guessing, hunting just walked right on up to me while I was using the bathroom. My instinct was to cover up and close the door a bit more, but those guys instinct was, "Hey what the hell was that?! Let's get closer." As they came closer I just made myself decent and walked out to let them know I'm using the bathroom. The one man, who I think was named Dave, saw me and fuckin shot at me twice with a 30/30. Needless to say I got po'd and grabbed Dave with my arms. As I did this the two others ran off and left there guns behind. Dave started cussing at me and yelling about my mother so...I turned him inside out, literally. Once I get rid of the body I'm going to go back to my shed and continue on with my "buisness."