Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Christmas Portraits

I HATE FAMILY PORTRAITS! For some reason my mother wants to go get our family christmas card portrait done on the 1st Fucking Day Of DECEMBER! Ok...let me calm down a bit and I'll tell you what happened. Ugh...ok...I was talking a shower in my bathroom, park forest aid stop near my tree, when my mom called and said we needed to go to the mall to get our christmas card photo done right away. After 5 minutes or so of yelling, along with some vulgar words being exchanged, I put on my suit and got my red killing...I mean christmas tie, and spidermanned my way over to the mall. When I got there my mom and dad were in the PF Changs in the food court, while my brother Splenderman was watching little kids through a window while they played in the ball pit at Chuck E' Cheeses. From there we went to some no name photo shop to get our card done. As soon as we walked in the chick at the counter freaked out and was about to run away. In doing so she sealed her fate. My dad knocked her out and then just set her down on the floor. Seeing this, the other chick there was in shock and said she'd do our picture free of charge. Three long hours later we had our picture. It would have been shorter, but everytime she took the would come out blurred and foggy. Well that and my fuckin retared brother sneezed twice. Now my mother has her precious card and once again, I hate christmas. Although it is fun standing in the woods Christmas night and messing with little kids heads who think that they've been naughty this year.

P.S. I'll post the christmas card soon. I would do it now, but I have some "business" to take care of.


  1. So what do you want for Christmas, then, sir? A new suit? A set of knives?

  2. Mr. Grosman,

    I am not sure if you are aware of this, but many people seem to be upset with you and will be coming for you on the Winter Solstice (Dec. 21). Crazy people, really. I don't see what their problem is.

    Just thought I'd give you a fair heads up. You have quite a few fans, and we worry about your well-being.

  3. Are these your biological parents or were you adopted?

  4. I know what you mean, Christmas is a pain - everything is so expensive.

    I can't go anywhere without at least $20 in my wallet.